First off, Miley has risen the bar for child actors everywhere. The way she reads her lines off like a dyslexic 4th grader, while amplifying them as loud as possible is phenomenal. Especially when she stretches her mouth into weird positions like when she says "very LA" and swings her arm before fetching eggs to convince her dad she's changed. Miley, don't let anyone ever convince you that whenever you say phrases like "say what" or "sweet nibblets" that they're cheap desperate attempts at becoming the next "Wha'chu talking 'bout, Willis". Wait...oops! But the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Its astounding to watch her father, Billy Ray, deliver his performance with a semi paralyzed facial expression and absolutely no sign of emotion whatsoever. Trying is overrated anyway. Instead of doing that, he cleverly chooses to replace said emotions with G-Rated stereotypical hick puns. I swear it gets me every time I hear him say "eggs-actly". My dad is already predicting he'll be the dead lock-in winner for the Supporting Actor category come February 2010. Speaking of which, what's a razzie?
While the school bullies were throwing me in the dumpster, I overheard them making fun of the movie, saying how the plot is plagiarizing off Spider-Man 2. Can you believe that? Why? It couldn't have anything to with the premise of a person who's an average teenager by day and disguised as a famous celebrity by night and them starting to have doubts living two lives and when exposing their true identity to a crowd of people is promised that none of them will tell anybody, could it? Naw. Those idiots don't realize that we never went into why she wanted to live two lives in the first place (why waste our time on character development?). That, and Spider-Man saves lives...really, the world doesn't need Hanna...uh, I mean...what I meant to say was, uh, moving on. Of course, if Hannah Montana was ripping off any movie that would be Flicka. Think about it, girl who goes back to her country located home, rides horses, bonds with her dad and tries to find herself. Thankfully, Hannah Montana wouldn't dare steal off someone else's work. Sorry Mr. Scoresese but Shutter Island won't be winning Best Screenplay this year.
One more thing I wanted to do was to thank Disney for revisiting slapstick again. This motion picture very well may be their apology for last year's Wall-E, as well as a godsend for Melora Hardin's career (why's she wasting her time on that stupid 'The Office'?). Don't you hate comedies that tell jokes you've never heard before and plot twists you can't see coming? I sure do. My mom calls it "original". Whatever that means, I don't like it. Its intimidating not being able to predict what's going to happen next...like m-o saving Eve and Wall-E's lives. Totally unfair! Another hideous family film that comes to mind is Enchanted. That Amy Adams was way too dedicated and authentic to her role as the real-life turned princess. Her lack of flaws and level of likability weren't realistic. Shame...on...her! Miley however goes to the beat of a different drum. How genius is it of her to heavily borrow dialogue and personality traits from numerous characters in other movies? That way, there's something for everybody in the audience. Those scenes of Miley falling off a chicken coop, Lily falling off a skateboard ramp and Jackson falling out a car window were hilarious! That's totally classic material! That's how a family film should be made. I believe with a successful enough box office performance and the right amount of positive reviews for this film could go on and encourage more Ice Cube projects and dare I say, a BRATZ sequel (such an underrated gem, don't you think?) P.S. I'm sad to report the laugh track wasn't used anytime during the movie, which is a shame because I had trouble knowing when I was supposed to force giggles.
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